How Much Does A Man's Height Matter To Women?

Monday, October 23, 2017

Short Men Struggles

How much of a role does height play in attracting women? Numerous studies have shown that women are quite often attracted to men who are taller than them.

What's interesting about the studies is they focus on the attraction-to-height ratio but they skim over the reasons why  women find themselves attracted to taller men. And it's almost always the same reason.

Women want to feel feminine. Just as men want to feel masculine. It's in our nature. By default, taller men can make a woman feel more feminine, lady-like, petite and dainty. Whereas a short man might make her feel less feminine, or too big and tall in comparison to him.

Does this mean short men are out of luck? And instead of your dating pool having "plenty of fish in the sea" it feels more like a pond with a few guppies?

I have a secret to let you in on.

Something men might not realize is the attraction-to-height ratio can be swayed in his favor. How? We know that women associate a mans height with how it makes her feel about herself. The way you make a woman feel around you matters infinitely more than your height. She wants to feel feminine, dainty, delicate, protected and safe with you. Understanding this is like having a short cut (no pun-intended) to women you want to attract.

You might be thinking. But some women won't even give me the time of day!  True, some women won't be interested no matter how cool, funny and charismatic you are. Those are the women you don't waste time on. If you're working on becoming a high-value man, you'll need to develop standards. When you imagine the woman of your dreams, what do you see? What are her qualities? How does she make you feel? I'd be willing to bet you're not dreaming of someone cold, rude, shallow or superficial. So then, a woman not willing to give you the time of day doesn't meet your standards of a dream girl, right? Right.

I should clarify it's not my intention to generalize or downplay the struggles that short men deal with, they are 100% real and can deeply affect a person's self-esteem. I know some women are superficial, cold and ruthless in how they treat men. Trust me, it's an embarrassment to the rest of us women who love and appreciate men. Please don't let rejection leave you feeling jaded, forget them, move on and be glad you dodged a bullet. The other thing is, yes I realize I'm writing this from a woman's perspective. I know I haven't walked in your shoes. But I have listened to the struggles of short male friends. And I've also been rejected due to my height being taller than the average woman, some men prefer short girls. My view was, okay cool, they aren't the one for me. Next.

Allow me to share a very personal experience with you.

I'm 5'9" which is indeed taller than the average woman but I love it and wouldn't change it for anything. I was dating a guy who was 5'10" with a fairly lean, slender build, about 150 lbs, not especially muscular, more of the skater surfer type. I felt perfectly comfortable with our similar heights and never gave it any thought. That is until he started showing his insecurity about being a smaller guy. Which by the way 5'10" isn't short. But still he was self conscious about his size. He would talk about how he hated his skinny legs and he'd get really angry when his friends teased him. Then I started noticing little cut-downs and snide remarks towards me and my size.

Okay, I know what you're thinking, if you don't know me you might be wondering, "Well maybe he was justified, what size are you anyway?" I'm size 6, 125 lbs with a small frame, long legs and at a height of 5'9" that's slender. I'm into fitness, yoga, eating clean and I have a metabolism that burns like nuclear fusion in the core of the sun. So no he wasn't justified, his sense of reality was just warped as he let insecurity get the best of him.

Now that we have those personal details out of the way...

Yes my ex-boyfriend felt insecure about himself and began projecting his size issues onto me. His low self esteem set him up for self-sabotaging behavior. In his mind, being too similar in size made him feel less manly and he was reacting by taking little jabs at me, making me feel less feminine.

I checked out of that relationship and happily moved on with my life. Even after I started dating a new guy, my ex was asking friends if the new guy was bigger than him. He literally took a non-issue and turned it into the biggest problem in his life. And I'm sure it didn't help to hear my new guy was 6'1".

The key point of this story is how the man chose to make the woman feel around him. Him falling into a cycle of projecting his insecurities resulted in me feeling awkward with him... and I certainly wasn't feeling feminine, delicate or dainty anymore around him. This quickly killed off my attraction.

Can you see where it went wrong? Neither height nor size was the problem, it's about how you make each other feel. But it starts with how you feel about yourself.

Now let's flip the situation around.

Picture this, a couple is strolling down the street. You see a shorter guy, who's clearly confident, he doesn't have hangups about his height or size. He doesn't waste time worrying about things that can't be changed, he's more interested in building a life he loves. He's mature enough to know attraction is about the total package, not one physical characteristic. He knows he has high-value qualities that make him a one-of-a-kind catch. He treats his woman like a queen and he knows how to make her feel like a woman. He wants her to feel feminine, loved and protected, so he treats her that way and this makes him feel even more masculine.

She's on his arm, walking along side him, he feels on top of the world having this beautiful woman holding onto him, who adores him and makes him feel special. She can feel him beaming, this makes her feel like a supermodel because she's got this confident hunk of a man who makes her feel desired, feminine and loved.

Maybe they're similar heights, maybe one of them is a little taller. Either way it works because they're both confident while giving and receiving the feelings they need from each other.

Attraction has less to do with height and more to do with the feelings you create. But if you're still wishing you were taller, work on becoming more confident. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have, confidence is sexy and it'll make you stand taller!

Men have a right to feel insecurities, just like women do. We're all emotional creatures after all. And when something affects your everyday life, being told to "just get over it" doesn't help solve the issue. Solving it will only come from being proactive on the inside. Working on ourselves, becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be.

Your mission... should you choose to accept it.
Is to become a high-value man with standards. Build your confidence. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Respect your mind and body. Design a life you love living. Everything you were born with, own it.

Does the thought of rejection from women still stress you out?

I recently held a poll in which almost 300 women participated. The question... Women, how much does a man's height matter? The results: Only 22% of women said they prefer their guy to be 6' or taller. 56% of women said they'll date their height and up. And 22% of the women said they date short and tall guys.
How Short Men Can Attract Women

What's the ideal height for a man?

Results show that 78% of women are completely open to dating a man around their height and with the average woman being around 5'5" it would appear that short men will do just fine.

Yes boys, there are still plenty of fish in the sea for you.

What about the other 22% of women who prefer their men 6' tall and up? Well we all have our preferences in what we find physically attractive. Some of us are partial to a certain hair color, eye color, skin tone, body type, facial features, height, weight, physique, the list goes on...

Naturally not everyone is going to be attracted to us, just as we're not attracted to everyone. What we really want is to attract the right person. Out of 3.7 billion women on the planet (Yes, I'm holding my pinky up to my mouth like Dr. Evil) trust there are many that would love every inch of you... tall or short.

If you're curious to know how I would've voted on the poll, well I've always been attracted to short and tall men pretty equally. I actually think the statuesque supermodel on a shorter guy's arm looks hella sexy. Then again, I thoroughly enjoy breaking uptight social norms and expectations. ;)

Thanks for reading this week's post guys!
Share your thoughts, questions and topic requests in the comments.


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  1. Hi Christine,
    This is such a personal issue for me, as I am currently dealing with this issue but with my daughter and step-daughter, not the guys in the family. You see, I am only 5'3" and after having dated tall and short guys, I ended up with my husband (and father to my daughter and son), who is 6 feet tall. My daughter is only 13 and 5'8" already (and tracking to the 6 feet tall mark) and VERY conscious of her height. I ended up divorcing and getting together with my soul mate (who is 5'8" and who was previously married to a 5'11" beauty). They had 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. His girl (my step-daughter) is also 13 years old and barely 5 feet tall (and also VERY conscious of her height).
    So, you see, as a "on the shorter-side" mom, I am teaching both my daughters that no matter their height, their beauty and worth shines from the inside. And that it doesn't matter what people say to them, or how they are forever comparing them to each other. They are each special and unique in their own bodies. How big and beautiful the size of their hearts and souls is what really matters here.
    I know, this does not come from a guys perspective. But I just wanted to share the fact, that we women, also have that stigma over us. Some for being too short, others for being too tall.
    Have an awesome day beautiful!

    1. Hi Vivavanina!
      Thanks so much for sharing your story. It's so true, when we don't "fit in" with the average of what we see around us, we are very conscious of it. When you think about it, having a goal of being ordinary or average isn't much of an achievement. Better to be extraordinary!
      Thanks again for sharing, sounds like you're an amazing mom to those girls! Oh and remind them to stand up tall and have good posture, I used to slouch so much when I was their age lol. I wished someone would have told me, hey stand up tall be proud of your height and body. xo Christine

  2. I find this interesting. I am 6'2" tall and always dated taller men, even married someone my height. They always made me feel inferior.

    Years later in my life, much more secure in who I am, I stopped looking at height as an issue. LIFE CHANGING.

    The man I eventually met, dated and married a man 5 inches shorter than me. He treats me like a queen. In 18 years, I have never felt like less than because I am taller or a bit bigger. He loves and adores me as I am, as I do him. We respect each other in all we do.